1. Wage war on stains or grease with Oxy Clean (for colors). Show those pesky blemishes who's boss!

  2. Summon the warm waters of laundry day and a dash of detergent into the washer. Let the machine's agitator dance with joy as it mixes the detergent to perfection, then graciously add your garment.

  3. Embark on a cycle quest to rid thy garment of moisture, leaving it as dry as the Sahara (or at least close).

  4. Give your garment a ride in the dryer on low heat, accompanied by 2-4 tennis balls. This isn't a game of tennis—it's fluffing time!

  5. Smooth out any unruly zippers or seams and give your garment a VIP spot on a hanger, far away from the fiery wrath of direct heat. We're avoiding a fabric barbecue here!

DO NOT: Treat your garment like a sacrificial lamb by pouring detergent directly onto it, opt for powder detergent, use tennis balls that have seen better days, or subject your beloved piece to the fiery depths of irons, radiators, or fireplaces. That's a recipe for disaster!